I did all that work on a volunteer basis just to give you the opportunity to be an asshole about a service that you receive free of charge.  So yeah, it’s great that we’ve each found a place for ourself.

Oh and P.S., fuck you.

Cory: That shimmy thing you do with your shoulders is the second gayest thing I’ve ever seen.

Simon: What’s the gayest?

Cory: I don’t know… but Jason did it.

The two dudes who are picking each other up in this Starbucks on the conversational premise that all Torontonians are assholes who refuse to talk to one another are warming my cold TO heart.

I also liked “I’m unemployed… but I’m a city planner.”

When you wake up spontaneously and you’re sure it’s 5:57am when your alarm is set for 6:00am and you know you have to get up to fix everything you didn’t fix yesterday and just before you check your Facebook notices to see who liked your status while you slept you notice on your iPhone that it’s actually only 4:00am… that’s like God leaning down and saying “Don’t worry buddy… it’s gonna be okay.”

YouTube just added a button to their player labelled “play this track till my neighbour comes over here and murders me.”

When you say “whatever” I hear “I give explicit permission and hereby waive all moral rights”.

this spam has the subject line “she comes like Hoover Dam” and i don’t think the writer knows what a dam is.